I have experienced a lot of disappointments this week, and I am learning how to more readily cast my burden upon the Lord's shoulders. Suffice it to say we did not have a baptism on Saturday, but I am carrying forward. My hope grows dim sometimes, but I'm in the process of polishing it up. All I need is a bit of elbow grease and I know I will have faith in the human race once more! The Lord is so amazing. I cannot comprehend how He is willing to love His children so much and feel so much pain at our failures. He must see something in us that we cannot see, but that vision must also make our rebellions from Him extraordinarily painful. I'm getting a taste of that as I feel tremendous love for these Lancastrians and they fail to recognize the importance of this message. They refuse to believe it can change their lives... There are some out there that are willing to hear. Some who are willing to change for the Savior. Some who know they need the sweetness this Gospel brings. I know they are there, and the Lord will lead us to them in His timing as long as week keep our faith and hope bright!
I look at my 'hineni'(Hebrew for: "Here am I; send me") ring often. Different thoughts go through my mind when I consider that I have made covenants with the Lord to build up His kingdom...
President and Sister Bullock are absolutely amazing. I kid you not, they are angelic. Every time I see them I just feel so much confidence and reassurance and inspiration and EVERYTHING! ...They are so dedicated to the Lord's work. One of the most bolstering thoughts as I roll out of my bed in the morning is that President and Sister Bullock are not too far away, already out of bed and serving the Lord. We are all in this work together and their commitment really inspires me.
One reason I love being on a mission is that the scriptures mean so much more to me. When we are in need of spiritual support, the scriptures really open up and provide it for us. Morning study time is so delicious! I really feel like I'm feasting and it is wonderful. Remember how lovingly and protectively I used to hold my violin? Well, the same feeling I got when I had my violin in-hand now comes when I hold my scriptures! I just feel this power. I feel the magnitude of them. They fit in my hands as if they always belonged there.